Wednesday, July 2, 2014

When Books Help You Through Difficult Times...

I've never been good with dealing with death. I'm always one of those people that want to know why. I want to understand it. I need to understand it but there are some things that can never be understood.

I recently lost someone close to me. I've been fortunate in my life to only lose two people I was actually close to. The first one was my cousin that died December 27, 2008. He was 25 when he died, a year younger than I am now. I have never fully gotten over his death. It's not so much that we were that close because we weren't but just the simple fact that someone I knew and loved died before they really got to live. That day changed me and I know that I'll never be the same again.

The second was my uncle that died last night. He was 52 and died from a heart attack. My uncle definitely got to live a much longer life than my cousin but still it was a life cut short. He had made some bad choices with his life but had recently gotten back on track. He was happy, actually the happiest he had ever been. He had met a woman and they were talking about marriage, something my uncle had never done. He was getting ready to start over and in the blink of an eye it was all taken away. 

My uncle and I were close. He was probably the uncle I was closest to. He lived next door to my family and I spent a lot of time at his house whenever he was home (he worked offshore). We always got along well. When I went to college I didn't speak to him as much but after I moved back home we started talking more again. Him and my husband hit it off and we would sometimes do stuff together. He went to church with us, just this past Sunday and we had talked about going out together with him and his girlfriend but we never got the chance to. 

I'm not good with death and things that can't be rationalized or understood. I spend a lot of time in the denial stage of grief. I pretend that I just haven't seen them in a while but then something happens and I remember and the grief marches back in. 

One of the things I have found are that books help me. Reading about similar experiences make me feel less alone. They don't necessarily heal the pain but they make me realize that I'm not the only one feeling pain. 

Today, I want to take the time to acknowledge a couple of books that I have read that help deal with grief and death and a quote or two that really resonated.

If you are going through a time like this, I hope you can find some comfort between the pages of these books as I have or some other book. If you have any recommendations of your own please feel free to share!

"Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath." - The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson

“Every morning, I wake up and forget just for a second that it happened. But once my eyes open, it buries me like a landslide of sharp, sad rocks. Once my eyes open, I'm heavy, like there's to much gravity on my heart.” - Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

“Every story is part of a whole, entire life, you know? Happy and sad and tragic and whatever, but an entire life. And books let you know them.”- Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler


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